[Also available in Colour]

It seems money must go further outside Winchester.

[Norfolk holiday]

Time and place Shuggee...time and place.

[Domestic Duties]

Splitting logs can lead to broken legs don't forget.

[God help me]

Not really, just certain things which annoy me.

[Yesterday]

My first version did.

In your young days, you were a trucker...

[College Week 2 - A little better!]

Just checking Beka, but are you by any chance a triangle?

[Today]

I blamed Mrs Oon....which I think greatly impressed Henry Moore.

[Today]

Oh Matt....you're so sweet. I suppose a turnover of £32.5million must seem a strange amount for a two-man-band, but weve both agreed that we have to try harder.

[Today]

You'll never beat my invention of Knighthoods....condoms for the larger gentleman. And Katie.....you never agree to my terms and conditions.

[Manners]

Do what I do, and pack your bags incredibly slowly so the shopping piles up and the queue gets longer and longer. Also, pay by cheque.

[Today]

You need a massage Oon.

That suggestion makes 35 years of abject grumpiness makes it worthwhile.

[Today]

I’m not grumpy…everyone else is unnecessarily happy.

[Too Quick]

I'd have thought you'd be used to things happening too quickly by now.

[Busy Weekend]

I wish someone would come round to entertain my little fella.

[Bank Holiday Break]

You've got a long weekend, I've got a long weekend. Makes you wonder.

[Today]

Ah yes....phone and wallet placed safely in the safe of the shop, for which I am grateful. However, how a shop can stock four different types of pickled onion yet not have any Andrex Aloe Vera toilet roll is still beyond me.

[Today]

Not sure where the nearest Waitrose is but there is one near my mother-in-laws in Crowborough.

You can show me when we go to break the news to her that your leaving her son for your favourite moderator

[Today]

I think Wordsworth also had a small house on one of Persimmon's first developments near Ribchester...probably just so he could get away from all the bloody daffodils.

Thanks for reminding me about Waitrose, the nearest of which is over 150 miles away.

[Today]

You should thank your son for making you throw away a suede jacket. As for the NHS, well, perhaps it's best I don't tell you about having to stand there waiting at reception for 5 minutes in the cottage hospital in Penrith, knowing I was the only patient, until I started raising my voice, when all of a sudden a nurse toddles along saying they're being as quick as they can, which would seem fair enough until I walk past a room with four nurses in having a cup of tea.

[Later Today]

And my spotted dick's seen better days.

[Today]

If you're not going to take my Blog seriously, then perhaps I shouldn't bother? It wasn't easy pouring out my innermost feelings you know.

[Ahem!]

You know, when I told my mummy OON (aka Pamflaps) about No 3 being on the way, her words were "oh it's not is it? Why have you done that? Did you mean to?"

Her reaction comes a close second to my Dad's reaction when I announced Mrs OON and I had got engaged, which was "shhhhh...I'm trying to listen to the radio".