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Lanarkshire Council Complaint Letters

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snow raven

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.........allegedly (but it did make me smile)

Clips from Lanarkshire Council complaint letters:

· My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus

growing on it.

· He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take

any more.

· It's the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow.

· I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob

off.

· I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his

foot in the hole in his back passage.

· And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my

fence.

· I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I

think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

· My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

· I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

· Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and

fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

· I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

· 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain

filthy.

· I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

· The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

· Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and

not fit to drink.

· Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

· The man next door has a large erection in the back garden which is

unsightly and dangerous.

· Our kitchen floor is damp. We have 2 children and would like a third so

please send someone round to do something about it.

· I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat. Would you please do

something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night

· Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my

wife.

· I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have

no satisfaction.

· This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get

BBC2.

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I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I

think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

:lol:

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Very funny!! Although I'm slightly suspicious that it's a makey-uppy list, there isn't strictly speaking a "Lanarkshire Council" and the english is too good!!

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