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About this blog

My life story - Joy oh joy - haha!!

Entries in this blog

 

Failed Promises

I am sick of people saying they are going to do something and then going back on their word. My sister has been saying she will book her flight for the past 3 months to come home from Australia. She said she had no money. Then she said she needed a bit more and would book the week after, and then she didnt have enough again, this went on for weeks. .. And now my dad has gone back on his word of not bailing her out again, and has stuck a grand in her bank account!! Thats how she got out there in the first place ... he gave her a grand for a deposit on a flat when she was homeless but she used it to go to Australia and run away with some guy she met on the net and had never spoke to. Seems like all she needs to do is cry and and she will get a grand. It's sick. She had bill troubles when her bf spent all the money, so dad spent a grand paying all her bills. Don't get me wrong im not jelous of the money at all. It's just that she needs to learn to fend for herself. And how will she when this crap is going on Course now the stupid cow knows where to go for money.A little cry of being poor and there - plop - in her bank another grand GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Ever felt like dis-owning your family? My dad has parkinsons disease and has recently put me on a power of attorney to pay his bills etc when the time comes. He had a lump of money as he no longer works. I was brought up in a poor family - on benefits etc. So this money is like a gold pot. The thing is he has to think of his future and the money will be needed for then. But he is giving it away like its sweeties. He is buying random junk he doesnt even need and expensive stuff. Just spend spend spend. I've told him off more than once about it. What will I do when the time comes and I have to pay the bills and things and he has spent it all??How will I pay for his nursing home care? Etc etc etc!! He seems to think oh its all ok - it will be fine. He will get disability allowance. Ok so what if he will. Make the most of the money you have now and make it last ... stupid prick. God I hate my family so bloody much :wub: :o

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

Life is soooo painful

Some people in life are mucked up from birth. No hope. I am one of them. But ... I sorted myself out - I have hope but this blog entry is to vent. We are looking at houses to buy. As a first time buyer this is one of the most exciting things in your life ... a time when you want to share with your family. A time when you want your family to feel proud of you for what you have done. A time to have mother and daughter shoppng trips to help decorate and kit out your house. A time for joy. A time for a house warming party with all your family. Except ... My family arn't interested. It hurts deep to the core. How can they not be interested? Surely they want the best for me? And i've managed to get to this stage in life ... alone ... without them ... making something of that extremely mixed up child I was I texted my mum days ago about how we were viewing our first house ... no response ... the cow doesn't care. It's always about her when she does reply. Not how are you - what are you doing but straight into her crap. She never wants to meet. Unless I go all the way over there. Never comes to our house here. She's been once in 3 years and that was for my grandads funeral. My sister has ran away to Australia to escape it all. And my dad has Parkinsons. My other family members we haven't seen for years and don't know where they are any way. I feel so alone at one of the joyful times of my life. How bloody sad is that!

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

Miserable as sin

PMT The bain of every womans life! Makes you feel so miserable. Some cry for hours on end, others scream for hours on end. Life feels awful and pointless. How can you get anywhere without money, a high up job and most of all self esteem. You feel useless, a waste of space, and even a failure. Women should be high flyers and catching up with the men not wanting to be at home, be a humble housewife and an emotional drop out in society. Ah crap this makes no f-ing sense ... *Returns to her corner with valium and rescue remedy in hand*

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

College Week 3 - Feeling much better

Well this week I arrived early and got a good seat. We handed in our homework which was an assessment of the skeleton. I think it was just to see what we knew and work out the areas we need to learn more about. Then we launched straight into learning about muscles. This involved the whilte board computer screen thingy and some sports massage guy talking about what muscles and made up and what they do. We were then handed another assessment of the muscles to do for homework, some more information and some optional further information in booklets. Then there were a load of text books handed around to look at. One is quite expensive so will go on my christmas wishlist. Thankfully these are also optional but worth getting. One is £8 and had the individual muscles of the body in with pressure points shown in the muscle where to press if sore as a kind of first aid thing. Looks very good. Then we took a coffee break and I chatted to a few people. Quite nice its my 3rd week and i'm making friends fast. It's good to find things in common. We filled in some form thing after that registers us with VTCT and then we went into the massages. We had to use towel technique which is how to get someone o and off the table dignified! And how to turn them over. Some girls kept forgetting to move the bolsters from under the ankles to under the knees when turning people on to their fronts but thankfully this I did remember!! Going to have a massage regularly helps my knowledge as I can also put the theory into practice and know how it feels. I now know how to do the massage moves but I haven't remembered the order yet! I felt comfortable practicing so I think i'm getting there. At the end of the lesson she quickly went through a back massage with us to practice over half term (next week) Think i've forgetton it already!! I made notes as she showed us and drew stupid little diagrams to attempt to remind me! If I can recognise them. She set us some reading homework and revising for the test so lots to do. And continuing to practice the leg massages also. I found a message board where other students are talking f rom other massage courses and supporting each other. Seems a good source of links aswell. I brought my massage table on Friday £200 but its a good one with a floptop and it has wheels on it so easier to carry around. Also has adjustable backrest on it. I did my sister on it last night and it worked well so i'm very pleased! Have ordered some covers for it. So all in all going well!!!

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

College Week 2 - A little better!

Well after reading up, filing a ton of forms, and practicing my front of leg massage I felt quite well prepared for my second week. I arrived about 5 minutes late due to the rush hour traffic. I walked into the class to see everyone was already paired up so someone must have been away so I sat by myself. I think she was just finishing talking about some business points so I missed that bit but i'm sure she will repeat it. Couldn't have been that long unless they started early! I have all the notes in a handbook we are using any ways so will read up on it. She then went ahead with carrying on with the Anatomy & Physiology. This week we looked at the skull and arm and leg bones. These were on an overhead projector thing that was actually a computer! Most bizarre thing it was. The hard drive seemed to be in a cupboard at the back of the room, the on off switch seemed to be on a box on the ceiling of all places, and the keyboard&mouse were wireless. All very clever! Last week I forgot to mention that she brought Greorge out of the cupboard. George is one of those life like tall on a stand skeleton things!! With George standing right next to me I had to behave! she might have kicked me with one of his life like legs LOL. Right back to this week I had ordered my uniform on Wednesday didn't know the sizes to had to guess - good job I did send it the day after I needed the time! I selected a size 12 top and a size 16 trousers. They came through on Friday - Fabulous. Tried them on straight away and the top was slightly baggy round the chest (Must grow more boobs) but fine round my hits as it goes down to thigh level. So that'll do. The trousers were too small!! I tried them on but couldnt get the zip up. Bugger - posted them back the same day and recieved a size "18" on the Monday. Good they fit. Can't believe thats crazy! A size 12 top and "18" bottoms. They had elastic bits too but there was no way they were an 18 they were like tiny. I fit in a 14 trousers so they must have just been that. Especially as the top was only a 12 and I was going to order a 14 but changed at the last minute. So thats sorted and fits ok, except its like wearing a starch suit - Well hard!! After the anatomy and physiology lesson she gave us a quick lesson on mediums. Goodness knows why they are called that but they are basically the things you use for massage. The choices are creams/lotions, carrier oils, and powders. Powder is the traditional useage for Swedish Massage that some guy in Sweden used that gave this type of massage its name. I will personally be using carrier oils as it feels much better, although I will have to use all types of meduims on one of my case studies. Then we stopped for coffee break. I came back to class and quickly did my homework I had forgot! I did half of it and handed it in. She wanted an idea of how we understood the types of massage. Such as effleurage, pettrisage etc etc. I will read up that before Tuesday for some extra homework for myself. After coffee break we proceeded to do back of the leg massages. I joined the 2 girls behind me and we went in a 3. one of the girls was actually on another course with me when we did the 4 week taster aromatherapy massage course. 2 of us were short and the other girl was tall so she went on the bed first and me and the other short girl did her. We all took it in turns to do each other - was very bizarre having 2 legs massaged at once, especially when you were out of sinc with each other lol. The poor girl was in stitches at one point as doing her thighs was really ticklish. Think it may have been the other girl who was going higher than me. I only went half way up her thigh for modesty and decencies sake!! After the massages our teacher gave us a quick demonstration of towel technique. This is how to keep someone modest from stripping off, to getting on the table, to turning over, to moving the towels to do tummy massages, to do buttocks, etc etc and then getting her off the table. Looks very complicating but i'm sure its do-able! We will be putting that into motion as of this coming week. I am glad to actually diary my weeks here as its a lot and its good to read back. It also means im forced to remember and its good at getting it into my brain by putting it down again. So thanks for letting me share. Hope at least one of you guys finds it interesting! LOL. Until next time ... Adios!

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

College Week 1 - Thrown in the deep end!

Hi Chaps Well college on Tuesday. I was so nervous as I was the new kid!! Sat down and the tutor gave me a pack of forms to fill in and everything I had missed the past 2 weeks. They had their 1st practical week doing front of leg massages last week, and we were to build on this this week including the thigh & foot massage. We then had a half hour session on Anatomy and Physiology - working on the bones of the body.We were given a hand out on this. Then we had a tea break in which I stayed in the class (Boffin lol) to look through my notes and familarise myself. We all came back then we watched a demonstration from the tutor on the leg massage following it in our booklets. Then we practiced. I was with a french girl who wanted to do me first. And then I did her and she talked me through it. Very sweet of her as I had forgotten already LOL. Then we got given our homework and and then went home. Last night I read through my paper work and filled in my forms, then popped everything into a file. I posted my form and check for for my uniform yesterday - £35 :lol: Blimy! I am going to do the homework I missed out on last week tonight and read through the massage routine again to see if I can remember and make notes on the routine! And tomorrow night i'm going to practice on Daniel!! Lets hope I dont forget. I also need to looking into buying a massage table soon but not too sure on the style i'm after yet. Will report back later! Thanks for reading!! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee x

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

--- and another door opens!

Right I was scheduled to start college doing the VTCT Certificate in Swedish Massage on Monday 2nd October. I went in and booked it one lunch time last week. Was quite expensive but Daniel is kindly paying for me to do it as a birthday present!! I recieved the student hand book and confirmation of the money going out my bank 2 days ag. Oh and a health form I should fill out. Tonight I recieved a call from the college principle to say that the course that I was going to do has been cancelled due to only 4 people on the course. Thankfully I have been offered a place on another course that has been running for 2 weeks already. I have missed out on a fair bit but he is going to post me some of the stuff I need like notes, uniform requirements, massage table ideas and some books that we need to buy. So look forward to receiving that in the post. Am a little nervous about joining a course that has already begun but i'm sure i'll be fine! Will report back after my first week next Tuesday!

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

Another door closes ...

Well here goes. Bye bye to another 7 month contract in the Youth Service. Gee where does time go! I joined on the 10th April and now ... gone ... Poof! Gee. A little sad as I met some wonderful people but such is the joy of temping world! I have tomorrow off as they didnt need me so today was my last day. Next week I have a 1 week contract 10 doors down on the same floor that i'v ebeen working on in the childrens department! Bizarre!! Will be extremely weird not going to the other room! It is only 1 week though and secretarial work - my pet hate. Still money is money ...

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

Yay Hometime!!!

Good Afternoon! 3 hours til hometime. No more forigners looking at me and smiling in a weird way. No more warbling in something I cant understand. No more mother in law waking us up at unearthly hours (After them keeping us up late!) Yippe Yippee Yippeee!!! We went to to Blackppol yesterday - after a meal that managed to last almost 3 hours(?!). We went to the pleasure beach (oh joy - too much pleasure!!) And there we were able to split up from them - Thankfully!!

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

Update

Afternoon chaps! Well so far have enjoyed a glorious weekend alone with lots of cleaning. Managing to get some of those jobs that stack up, and you never want to see let alone do, done. Makes you feel better to have a nice clean tody smelling house. :unsure: As part of my cleaning yesterday I decided to revive Daniels pillow! Its a feather one and they tend to get a funny smell after a while. So bottles of essential oils in hand I dab a few drops of tea tree on one side (to kill the bed bugs and dust mites ) and the other side some lavender to hel sleep. Some how me thinks he is going to hate the smell, not sleep on it and shout at me!! Still it definately smells better to me lol. The sun is out and has been for about 2 hours now! More than that last 2 weeks im sure! So I have a few windows open to let some fresh air in - feels good. I also suffer from SAD so the sun really picks up my mood and makes me feel better. The worst weather for me is what we have been having with cold and cloud really sets me off. Still i'm glad to see the nights begining to draw out again. I'm so excited as I have FINALLY paid off all my credit card so im free!!! Hopefully the council will renew my contract at the end of the month - otherwise im jobless again <_< No college tomorrow i had my last lesson last monday and got my certificate! It was only a introducation course but it gives you some basis of knowledge to go by. So far I have done Aromatherpy, Massage, and Head Massage. The next course in March is Reflexology but as much as I really want to do that, to go with this other basic experience, im not too sure because im so ticklish really bad on my feet and we have to practice on one another! Think i'll be rolling around the floor LOL. Any ways time to go and finish scrubbing the kitchen - literally!! Love to all X

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

Massage Course ...

Hmmmmmm fish n chips ... the smell ... the taste ... the crunch of the batter ... oh hello your reading my blog - sorry I was lost in taste there. Havent wrote in a while. Life has been busy as always. I have started a new course at college on Monday evenings. Doing a introductionary course in Aromatherpy. I am really really enjoying it and have even made a friend ...yes I know I only have 1 other friend ... my hamster ... Any ways the first week we did hand massages - complex blighters! I learnt about camomille, lavander, and something else oil. This week we did arm, chest and neck/top of back massages. And we learnt about tea tree, bergamot and something else oil. Yes I know I can't remember but I can't be bothered to look the other 2 up. I was even suprised to see 2 men on our course. I am now trying to persuade Daniel without much luck to do a couples massage course. I am busy at work and loving it because my manager is in Florida for 2 weeks. We had a good weekend at Daniels parents for bonfire night but now im left with all the washing!! Speaking off which must go and put some on now ...

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

Autumn House Clean

Dear Diary Today we are changing the longue round and having a spring clean - in autumn. Or more rightly I am the lazy man moaned just about taking the bloody rubbish out let alone help me move heavy furniture around ... I am just taking a break from moving the tv and dining room table around. An am waiting for the man to move the sofa ... hmm I'll be here forever always best to do it yourself ... So far this weekend I have: Put washing away and done more washing
Had haircuts and done food shopping
Cleaned the bathroom walls and sinks (mould removal from walls and bath)
Pruned a bit too well a plant then decided I better conserve some of the bits I chopped off so repotted them!!
Cleaned all shoes and the shoe rack
Tidyed house
Hoovered a bit
Tidyed and cleaned some of the kitchen
Cooked and ate pizza
Cut my toenails (haha u so wanted to know that didn't you!!)
Had a bath and washed my hair
Not necessarily in that order mind!! So far the time change has really kicked my stomach out of sink - doesnt no what time it is and ive been starving all day!! Still one this longue is finally done its time to cook a roast tea (God where do I get the energy from ... need to find some quick!) and them I think im going to be lazy. Got tons of other small jobs and big ones including sorting out cupboards, cleaning walls, and getting winter clothes out but I think they can wait until another day!!! We are also moving daniels computer into the longue as my sister may be staying with us. Before it was definate but now she has found a room with some guy to rent and is moving in on 1st December. So if dad gets 1 weeks notice or has to move out before then - then she will move in with us until that date. I start college tomarrow night on a 4 week Aromatherapy course. I'm well nervous and mildly excited aswell. Right better get back to it ... wanna rest before tomarrow going to be a very hard week as im covering someone elses job who is away as well as my own. Then we are off up to daniels parents to Blanckburn on Friday so a nice loooooong trip up!! Love to all XX

*Stormforce~beka*

*Stormforce~beka*

 

The Beauty Of Nature

Dear Diary (haha)Well I do wonder how long this is going to last!! Must tell you something exciting (litthe things please litle mind I know ...)Our bedroom window looks onto a row of trees and bushes. One load of tree, bushey, thingies has a load of nuts on it. And we have been watching this past week 2 Jay Birds (arnt they rare?!) and 2 squirrells eating the nuts. I sqirrells are delightful to watch as they chase each other sometimes and even dangle upside down by their tails round as much as a twig sometimes!! And they eat a nut like that between their little hands.Soooooo cute. But both those and the Jays wont sit still long enough for me to take some pictures yet!! So the camera is still awaiting its duty upon the window sill. Little bummers lol ... When they decide to allow me to picture them I will post in here for you all to see the little critters hehe.Nah seriously I feel so lucky and even so close God just watching his creations out my own bedroom window. I feel so very lucky. Well this morning you find me sat in the bed in the office on my laptop writing to blogland with a bowl of frosties and classic fm on daniels comuter ... his speakers are better than my laptop!! Must get up in a minute and make some coffee and go awake him with a cuppa tea ... Yes, I came into here to sleep from the snoring at about 430am ... and the night before ...Will be fun when I have to sleep on the sofa in a sleeping bag when Zoe is here haha. Oh well hopefully she wont be here more than 2 months.Didn't get much housework done yesterday. I left here and went to sleep for an hour whilst Daniel did 20 minutes on the exercise bike then he joined me and slept for an hour. And then I got up and persuaded myself to do some work!! Put the washing on and we both did a load of washing up. More to do this morning ... yes we are bad leaving it to pile up ... Anyways im off to awake the king and then tidy house and at least have it tidy if not clean! Next week we will be changing it round and getting clothes out for winter.Thank you for reading my ramblings once again ... love to all X

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Oooooh How Exciting!! My First Entry ...

Well Hello everybody! No infact im going to call it ... dead diary or even Dear Diary! ... how origional I know!My first entry how exciting! I was going to buy a blog before but never got round to it as I never had any money. I'm still paying back the money from when I was off work over a whole year. So I have about £100 left of the credit card to pay - much better than £800! And in the region on £3,000 odd to pay Daniel for rent, bills etc he paid me. So sigh - eventually I will be able to save up and put some money into my ISA so we can move/buy a house! Hopefully things will be a touch better next month or so as my sister maybe moving in with us as Dad has to find a 1 bed ground floor flat. He is 49 and has young persons parkinsons disease. Things have moved quickly as he saw the consultant at the hospital who said he has to move from a 3 bed to a 1 bed.He saw the council who did a home visit on Tuesday, and also a survey of the house on Thursday. My sister is to be homeless and the council refused to rehouse her until she was homeless...how stupid. So we have to take her in with us for a while ... So thats my ramblings for today. Got eyes glued to this website for the hurricane/s and also the storms to be for us next week ... off to put some washing on and do a bit of tidying up. Although im tierd so might have a wee sleep in a while. Love to all and thank you for taking the time to read this. Hugs n Kisses XX

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