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Posted
  • Location: Stockport, South Manchester
  • Weather Preferences: Thunderstorms & Snow.
  • Location: Stockport, South Manchester

    Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.

    It was just After Eight.

    They got off at Quality Street.

    He asked her name. ‘Polo, I’m the one with the hole’ she said with a Wispa.

    ‘I’m Marathon, the one with the nuts’ he replied.

    He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.

    Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.

    He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.

    Soon they were Heart Throbs.

    It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight.

    But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip Dab started to itch.

    Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he had Allsorts!

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    Posted
  • Location: Nr Driffield, E Yorks, (66m ASL)
  • Weather Preferences: Deep Snow & Warm lazy Summer Days
  • Location: Nr Driffield, E Yorks, (66m ASL)
    18 minutes ago, Manchester_Sunset said:

    Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.

    It was just After Eight.

    They got off at Quality Street.

    He asked her name. ‘Polo, I’m the one with the hole’ she said with a Wispa.

    ‘I’m Marathon, the one with the nuts’ he replied.

    He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.

    Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.

    He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.

    Soon they were Heart Throbs.

    It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight.

    But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip Dab started to itch.

    Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he had Allsorts!

    🤣🤣🤣🤣 that is brilliant 👍

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    Posted
  • Location: Darlington
  • Weather Preferences: Warm dry summers
  • Location: Darlington

    I’ve decided to dress as a different type of bread every day. Roll on Monday.

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    Posted
  • Location: Darlington
  • Weather Preferences: Warm dry summers
  • Location: Darlington

    There’s a special place in Hull for the inventor of autocorrect...

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    • 3 weeks later...
    Posted
  • Location: Darlington
  • Weather Preferences: Warm dry summers
  • Location: Darlington

    I know I shouldn’t shoplift cooking utensils, but I’ve run out of money, so it’s just a whisk I have to take.

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    Posted
  • Location: Croydon. South London. 286 ft asl
  • Weather Preferences: Thunderstorms, snow, Ice days, warm sunny days.
  • Location: Croydon. South London. 286 ft asl

    Someone couldn't be bothered to ask the local council to move the road sign - or are they just stupid?

    C'mon.. how/why?🤦‍♂️

    WWW.MSN.COM

    A row of homes in Shirehampton, Bristol, appears to be fairly normal at first glance but one property is not as it seems prompting ridicule online

    image.thumb.png.0491e85696d7435a333e7c5eeb00d158.pngimage.thumb.png.8235a30b0a689ae000b007a2da7cbad9.png 

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    Posted
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire
  • Weather Preferences: Any extremes
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire

    I had an online job interview yesterday, they asked “How do you perform under pressure?”

    I said “Not bad, but my Bohemian Rhapsody is much better”

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    Posted
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire
  • Weather Preferences: Any extremes
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire

    image.thumb.png.47bbec2d43e61ff10b289fe11dd782a5.png

    Is lockdown getting a bit samey?

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    Posted
  • Location: Crymych, Pembrokeshire. 150m asl
  • Weather Preferences: Extremes of all kinds...
  • Location: Crymych, Pembrokeshire. 150m asl

    For anyone who has encountered an over enthusiastic parking warden.....

     

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    Posted
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire
  • Weather Preferences: Any extremes
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire

    Is a specimen an Italian astronaut?

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    Posted
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire
  • Weather Preferences: Any extremes
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire

    My wife said "You treat our relationship like some sort of game"

    Which unfortunately cost her 12 points, a bonus chance and she has to wear a hat like a colander until she throws a double 6

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    Posted
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire
  • Weather Preferences: Any extremes
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire

    IMG-20210313-WA0003.thumb.jpg.6920a339db5ffbbd134e7b14fc5a7aa8.jpg

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    Posted
  • Location: Darlington
  • Weather Preferences: Warm dry summers
  • Location: Darlington

    I'm overdrawn at the bank, and they keep phoning me and leaving voicemails. I wish they'd just leave me a loan!

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    Posted
  • Location: Solihull, WestMidlands, 121m asl -20 would be nice :-)
  • Weather Preferences: Cold and Snow -20 would be nice :)
  • Location: Solihull, WestMidlands, 121m asl -20 would be nice :-)

    Someone asked me how’s the wife at cooking, real bad has she’s the only person I know that can burn water 🥴

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    Posted
  • Location: Darlington
  • Weather Preferences: Warm dry summers
  • Location: Darlington

    Just finished a long over due deep clean of my domino set, they're spotless.

    Edited by Summer Sun
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    Posted
  • Location: Darlington
  • Weather Preferences: Warm dry summers
  • Location: Darlington

    Glen Campbell went on a very extreme diet back in the 70’s. He was like a nine stone cowboy.

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    Posted
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire
  • Weather Preferences: Any extremes
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire

    I met an old friend yesterday, he has gone completely bald during lockdown. He still carries his comb in his pocket, he just can't part with it!

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    Posted
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire
  • Weather Preferences: Any extremes
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire

    I want to build a staircase - does anyone have a step-by-step guide?

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    Posted
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire
  • Weather Preferences: Any extremes
  • Location: SE Oxfordshire

    Just read a review on the MC Hammer museum.

    They said it's rubbish, you can't touch anything. 

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    Posted
  • Location: Darlington
  • Weather Preferences: Warm dry summers
  • Location: Darlington

    I'm starting a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

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