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Everything posted by Hemlock

  1. There was a young sailor named Bates Who danced the fandango on skates But a fall on his cutlass Had rendered him nutless And practically useless on dates.
  2. I think this is a record?...….
  3. I don't have access to the internet so can't be of assistance, sorry.
  4. How far are we talking exactly?
  5. Looks like Andy broke it again, sorry about that. Hopefully he'll get banned soon and wont be able to do it again.
  6. Acting like a grown up is for wierdo’s, and people who wear brown sensible shoes.
  7. Have they got a new computer at the care home?......

    1. Soaring Hawk

      Soaring Hawk

      No, computers aren’t allowed - they like to keep us away from the outside world; they just force feed us laxatives and diazepam.  I write everything in long hand and pay the cleaner to post my increasingly confused thoughts on here.  How the devil are you? 

  8. Crap? CRAP? Youve clearly lost your mind, I refuse to converse with you any further.
  9. Since when has kneeling in front of something become an insult? If that's the case, laying a wreath, praying and getting a knighthood are all going to need a serious rethink.
  10. Star bars have a very pleasing peanut/chocolate/caramel ratio.
  11. One man and his dog? Is that a program about dating in Cardiff?
  12. I said an acorn you moron, not tree rat excrement.
  13. An acorn just landed on my head, I think it must be a sign.
  14. I'm watching you, all of you, all of the time............ Mwhaaa ha ha ha haaaaaaa *dramatic creaky door sound with obligatory owl hoot in the distance*
  15. Hemlock

    Im back.

    I'm glad he came back, i missed him.
  16. I used to have some trousers that gave me exactly that problem.
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