OK:
January: Very cold, thick snow on the ground and continued blizzards until the end of the month. We'd have a better way of dealing with the snow obviously although for several days even our best equipment won't be able to deal with it and the nation will have no choice but to frolick in the snow all day. High 4C/Low -15C
February: Snow eases off but blizzards are still likely, snow is now eay to deal with, but still moderate on the ground. Bright days and the snow is melted by the end of the month. 6C/-5C
March: First signs of springs. Light rain showers wash away any remaining sludge and freshens up the landscape. Days feel warmer, but nothing much happens weatherwise. 17C/3C
April: Really starts to warm up with occasional April showers thrown in. Still the occasional cold day, but most are warm enough not to need a jumper or coat. The occasional hot day signals the start of the hot summer to come. 21C/10C
May: The heat starts to kick in. We will have hot May bank holidays and relief comes in the form of the very occasional downpour (not electrical). These are the first BBQ days of the year and it's time to bring out the shorts and flip flops. 25C/15C
June: Hot, hot, hot! Very little, if any rain all month. Expect the typical British pastime of not putting any suncream on and most of the population looking like lobsters. A heavy thunderstorm brings some relief at the end of the month. 32C/24C
July: Same as June. Papers headlines will say 'What A Scorcher!' with pictures of packed beaches (this has also happened numerous times in May and June) 37C/24C
August: Still hot, but the heat becomes more humid as moisture collects in the air. Mid August brings the start of some strong thunderstorms although these will only be a few short storms with a couple of all nighters. 32C/21C
September: Still warm, but the cool down has started. BBQ's and sunbathing are still on the agenda but this is thunderstorm month. Not a week goes by without having at least 3 storms. Several all nighters (like the good old days). Expect many multicells and a couple of supercells. 28C/18C
October: A few strong thunderstorms still igniting over most of the country but get less as the month goes on. A few chilly days and it feels like the world is getting ready for winter. Most days are still enjoyably warm and it doesn't rain (except in thunderstorms). People have their last BBQ's. All in all a pleasant month after the hot summer and active thunderstorm month of September. 22C/12C.
November: Much cooler this month. Time to get coats out again and mornings are cold and crisp, but during the day the sun still warms up the earth and feels nice on your face. The month is interspersed with a handful of showers, some heavy. Nights are cold. 12c/1C
December: First half starts out bitterly cold with wet and windy weather. Torrential downpours are common. Heavy snow arrives just in time for Christmas and everyone enjoys a white Christmas all over the land. Snow is think on the ground and will be until the end of January. The conective energy in the armosphere from the hot summer and warm autumn create plenty of thundersnow. 7C/-6C