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Karl

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Blog Entries posted by Karl

  1. Karl

    Bookworm

    By Karl,

    Having spent the last 6 months commuting with the joys of Scotrail I have decided to write about books.

    Now I get through about 2-3 books a week. All taken from the bestseller rack at Tescos so how could I possibly go wrong...

    Here are some of my findings:

    1. Ex Special Forces personnel have a penchant for finding holy relics

    2. If you bump into any ex special forces then they are likely to be escorting a pretty young lady in search of said relics.

    3. They all carry guns

    4. Archeology is plainly dangerous.

    5. Chances are the archeologist searching for relics will be targetted by either a secret society intent on keeping said relic a secret or an evil benefactor who wants the relic for himself.

    6. Ex Special Forces people are far better at finding relics than professional archeologists and can condense a lifetime of someone's work into around 2 days globetrotting and stumbling on clues.

    7. The artefact or relic will have profound implications on any one of the worlds major religions.

    8. Roo is very lucky to have survived her chosen career. I'd be suprised if she was not accosted by the Spanish Inquisition at some point in her career and of course... no-one expects the Spanish Inquisition

    So there we go.. So twice I tried reading books written by ladies

    The first said it was a murder suspense thriller with a location setting that I'm very familiar with so I thought I'd give it a go...

    A group of women were living separate lives in a fairly remote town... The first one hunder odd pages went into details about their lives and peculiarities..

    But it did liven up at page 136 when the Brennan's decided to host a cocktail party



    The second book nearly made me cry... On page 84 the lead female thought another female was... and I quote... 'a nincompoop'

    Now I'm sorry but that word has no place in adult literature.

    I'll stick to me special forces.
  2. Karl

    Minime 3 Is Here!

    By Karl,

    Well after hearing all about me little Harry couldn't wait to get out and meet me - unfortunately he's come out 6 weeks early so is a bit on the small side but doing well..

    [attachment=69562:Photo33_33.jpg]

    sadly he has his daddy's feet
  3. Karl

    Minime3

    By Karl,

    Well, time is pressing but i figured I should mention this..

    Been with my girlfriend for nearly a year now and she's due to drop another minime anywhere between 3 and 7 weeks (don't ask) . A little boy whom I shall call Cyril

    Nuclear nappies and sleepless nights...here we go again
  4. Karl

    Big Issue

    By Karl,

    Well I finally sold my house yesterday pending all the paperwork etc.
    The good news is the buyer wants completion by the 21st of this month.
    So I have to find a place for me and my dog in 2 weeks in a strange town.
    Big Issue anyone??
  5. Karl

    For Fax Sake

    By Karl,

    I just managed to photocopy 48 copies of my 3 timesheets instead of faxing them to a number ending in 48.
    don't you just love these all in one machines
    If anybody needs me i'll be in the back looking after the webserver
  6. Karl

    Lunch

    By Karl,

    Well I went for a nice long lunch today and was bustin for the loo when i got back to the office
    As i was standing there minding my own business the fire alarm test went off. jumped out of me skin
    nearly widdled on me shoes
  7. Karl
    well I decided to try a bit more in the way of exercises (got to keep firming those lovely buttocks of mine) at the weekend and got a nice little exercise area sorted out and then went to tesco for my weekly shop.
    I had a peek at the equipment and bought a large bouncy ball and some enormous elastic bands.
    I got home and looked at the box the ball was in and saw the available colours and the sticker which marked the colour for the contents of the box.
    I now have an enormous bright pink exercise ball
  8. Karl

    Cooking for one

    By Karl,

    I recently discovered tescos yummy curries - microwave and yum - and with fresh naan bread it's lovely
    so i get one out of the packet this evening and read the instructions - cook for 3.15 then add some water and stir before cooking for another 3 minutes - simple.
    so i set the alarm and sit and wait.
    ding
    i rush through to see the curry sitting in the pack next to the stupid microwave.
    at no point did it say insert pack into microwave oven.
    I feel i should write in and complain
  9. Karl

    Disaster

    By Karl,

    I went to the barbers today
    asked for a grade 3 and leave some at the front so i can keep my super quiff
    mad crazy woman left under an inch - how am i supposed to quiff that
    i fear i have lost my superpowers
    i'm going to cry
  10. Karl

    How very exotic

    By Karl,

    My work want me to travel to luton for at least a couple of days a week preferably more and at best I'll get a travelodge.
    I had an employment agent on the phone with talk of jobs in Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris and Dubai.
    Or Luton.....
    This is a tough one.
  11. Karl

    'Love' Hearts

    By Karl,

    I got given a love heart sweetie by a girlie today..
    i was so happy... what would it say??
    you're gorgeous.
    i heart u
    big man
    sweetheart
    cute guy???
    No!
    the bloody thing said 'Grow Up'

  12. Karl

    Imagine my delight

    By Karl,

    Today at work the most wonderful thing happened...
    I went for my 11 o'clock chocolate and ordered a twix from the machine.
    As it fell from the shelf it knocked against a caramel dairy milk bar which fell with it.
    Things are looking up indeed.
  13. Karl

    It doesn't fit

    By Karl,

    Much to my amusement today I learnt that however hard they try, labradors do not fit down rabbit holes.
    Today I went to Tesco. This was nearly fun - I'm trying to buy food that is not served with chips. One of these days I'm going to end up looking like a great big chip (aunt bessies preferably).
    Last weeks was a disaster - 2 of my new things to eat were horrid and unfit for human consumption.
    This week my new things are curries. I even bought naan bread to go with them.
    I still bought 3 pizzas though just in case.
    Also these days in what little spare time I have I am learning up on some languages. This week I am mostly learning French.
    Today in lesson 5 I am hoping to find out if le fille a attrape le ballon. It's so exciting. I also plan to learn german and maybe a little dutch and arabic.
    Got to keep the grey matter ticking over.
    Ooo bathtime. now where's ducky
  14. Karl

    Another Big Adventure

    By Karl,

    Oooo I had an adventure yesterday...
    I had a wedding at 2 o'clock to go to in Inverness which is a long way north of me.
    08:00 - crawled out of bed - had coffee, breakfast, shower etc - started packing me bag
    08:45 - booked taxi - walked dog
    09:10 - finished off me packing
    09:30 - got taxi to station looking dapper in me suit
    12:10 - arrived at Inverness after enjoying a lovely journey, stunning scenery etc
    12:20 - looking for castle which hotel is near - at river underneath a big grass bank could not see castle - walked the wrong way
    12:25 - walked back the way i'd come and from the other side of the road saw that the castle was above the grass bank. felt stupid
    12:30 - checked in to hotel
    12:35 - changed to jeans and hoodie to fit in with the locals and headed back into town
    12:45 - bought card in shop
    12:50 - bought gift
    12:55 - bought tie
    13:00 - searched everywhere for sodding florist
    13:05 - found florist with 2 old ladies ordering flower in front of me - oo when shall we get them delivered for - i dind't think about that.....
    13:10 - got served by florist who sorted me out a nice buttonhole
    13:15 - bought coke and 2 mars bars to keep me going
    13:30 - arrive at hotel bumped into a mate and his girlfriend all looking splendid ready for the wedding. absolutely horified that i was in jeans etc carrying shopping bags
    13:35 - start to get ready - have shower get into suit - figure out how to use cufflinks and pierce nipple attempting to attach buttonhole
    13:58 - take my seat for the ceremony looking quite gorgeous
    the rest blurs a bit but it was lovely and a good time was had by all.
    So all my love and best wishes to Lisa and Dave. Twas super
  15. Karl

    What an adventure

    By Karl,

    Today I used public transport to get to work.
    It only took 4 times longer and is only nearly 3 times as expensive. Let's all do it.
    Good luck to anyone trying to read a stagecoach timetable and figuring out how to get from a to b at a particular time in Perth.
    Stupid car nearly passed its mot. the brakes passed but when they stripped down the wheel to see the suspnsion they looked and said they were going to fail the brakes cos they look bad.
    Which leaves me with my next dilemma - the tax runs out in 3 days and I can't get tax without an mot. How does that work cos I'll get the mot next week sometime hopefully.
    Apparently I need...
    A new balljoint
    A new hub carrier
    Discs
    Pads
    and probably a wheel bearing depending on how the hub is. Thank God I have lovely neighbour with a set of tools who will work for a bottle of whisky.
    In other news I have written the opening twelve bars for my pop song. It's really rubbish at the moment. Although it's running through a ten year old sound card through my monitor speakers. I really need to reassemble my studio.
    And on netweather I'm writing some software that will do everything so that's a wee bit fiddly and hurrting my head.
    And in my spare time I go to the gym in order to keep improving on the body beautiful.
    As a wise man once said...
    booyeah
  16. Karl

    stardom

    By Karl,

    well hasn't this weekend been exciting.
    not really - on work days i struggle out of bed after my fourth alarm goes off.
    on saturday I woke up wide awake 15 minutes before the first would have gone off - how odd
    so down to a nice quiet tesco - store empty but big queues at the tills .
    'Would you like a hand with your packing'
    'No thankyou'
    'Then SUFFER!'
    last night i was rooting through my dvds for something to watch and found lord of the rings - still wrapped
    so i sits meself down - pops on the surround sound scaring the dog - bless him looking in all directions
    so three hours later after watching a new zealand tourist board video - 2 funny little people stand on top of a hill then it stopped
    maybe i'm missing something...
    today i have decided i'm going to make a pop song time to fire up cubase..
  17. Karl

    i've seen the sign

    By Karl,

    thought i'd come back to blogland cos i'm bored..
    every day i drive to work past a sign 'Bag your own manure £1' -
    another sign ... 'for glasgow follow signs to stirling' ..... swiftly followed by 'welcome to stirling' i imagine
    not as good as the signs on some of the signs on the m6 saying 'sign not in use'
    on the hot water tap at work 'caution hot water' well duh
    on another note last friday the 'great coffee machine disaster of 2007' occurred. someone shook the chocolate machine to catch a dangly and bashed the pipe supplying the coffeee machine.
    i could not cope during the afternoon and all i could think of was a great cup of coffee when i got home.
    I got in, put the kettle on, put the coffee and sugar in my cup.
    Then enjoyed the aroma as i delicately poured the water into the cup.
    went to the fridge ....
    no sodding milk
    i could have cried...
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