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Bishop Brennan

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Status Updates posted by Bishop Brennan

  1. I had a weird dream last night that I was narrating the entire Lord Of The Rings film trilogy. I was Tolkien in my sleep.

  2. My local Locksmith is an awful songwriter. Too many key changes.

  3. My therapist told me today I have an obsession with vengeance. We'll see about that.

    1. Yarmy
    2. beerandkebab

      beerandkebab

      bish, I do declare you've been watching Stewart Francis ;)

    3. ZONE 51

      ZONE 51

      Doctor Doctor Ive had no internet connection for a few weeks.. Doc"I am prescribing you a TABLET" !!!!!

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  4. I have finally found myself a new job, although it's just crushing pop cans. It's soda pressing.

  5. I wanted to lose some weight, so I went to the local paint store. I heard I could get thinner there.

  6. My last relationship reminded me of algebra – I’d look at my X and instantly think Y.

    1. Styx

      Styx

      Was that with Scalene?

  7. I can see exactly six years into the future. I have 2020 vision.

    1. R.P. McMurphy

      R.P. McMurphy

      Hahaha Bishop I love your corny jokes.

    2. UV-RAY

      UV-RAY

      Keep em coming Bishop.

    3. Styx

      Styx

      that's actually preety good..

  8. A girl just said she recognised me from the local vegetarians club, but she must be mistaken. I've never met herbivore.

    1. JennyJane1

      JennyJane1

      Tell her you don't have thyme for this

    2. Bishop Brennan

      Bishop Brennan

      Oh dear, what madness have I unleashed????

    3. Dancerwithwings

      Dancerwithwings

      Don't Stew to much Bish... You might get too Sweet and sour about it..lol

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  9. Cruelly overlooked for a knighthood once again. What more do I have to do?

    1. Steve C

      Steve C

      Are you DB in disguise? ;)

    2. Bobby

      Bobby

      Become a banker and get very rich like Fred Goodwin, should be pretty fail-safe

    3. Bishop Brennan

      Bishop Brennan

      I think I liked SI's suggestion the best......Lord Brennan does have a certain something to it :-)

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  10. I'm preparing to perform a theatrical performance based around puns. It's going to be a play on words.

    1. Mapantz

      Mapantz

      Just booked a b&b for the weekend, owner said it's a stones throw away from the beach, I asked how you could tell that? She said all the windows are smashed.

    2. Dancerwithwings

      Dancerwithwings

      All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen . Police have nothing to go on.

    3. Bishop Brennan

      Bishop Brennan

      lol you guys are using up all my material!!!!

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  11. Today, anyone that has investments in the fencing industry surely must be congratulating themselves on their business acumen.

  12. I've just changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing right now.

    1. cheeky_monkey

      cheeky_monkey

      Its a shame you didn't steer clear of that joke

    2. hec1
    3. frogesque

      frogesque

      Don't pop your rivets!

  13. Just the three work-related Christmas meals for me this week, then. I can feel my arteries clogging up even as I type these words.

    1. Bishop Brennan

      Bishop Brennan

      At the end of the first meal, yes. It would have been rude of me to refuse lol.

  14. There was a big paddle sale at the local boat store today. It was quite an oar deal.

    1. AderynCoch

      AderynCoch

      Oarful. I canoet believe you said that.

    2. cheese

      cheese

      Oar my god.. What a boat-load of cr*p..

    3. Styx

      Styx

      i guffawed at that. i must be tired.

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  15. A raging PV, hardly any frosts and England getting thrashed in The Ashes – this month is the total opposite of December 2010

    1. cheese

      cheese

      A repeat of March 2013 perhaps.. :-)

    2. gottolovethisweather

      gottolovethisweather

      I think Winter will bite middle thid of January and again in part of February but this season invariably looks more akin to 2011/2012 whichever way we look at it and that's pretty much what the NW guys with their long-rangers actually forecast.

    3. Eugene

      Eugene

      In your dreams cheese ;)

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  16. It's raining cats and dogs. Fine, as long as it doesn't reindeer.

  17. Mr Baldrick, I want you to go out and buy a turkey so large you'd think it's mother had been rogered by an omnibus.

    1. Bobby

      Bobby

      Believe me, Baldrick, eternity in the company of Beelzebub, and all his hellish instruments of death, will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me... and this pencil.

  18. I always wished for hair like a movie star, and I've finally got it. Unfortunately, it's Patrick Stewart.

    1. Fozfoster
    2. Coast

      Coast

      I wanted the body of a God and I got it - Buddha...

    3. UV-RAY

      UV-RAY

      Mines like Brad Pitt........ Oh wait a minute my medication is now kicking in. :-(

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  19. Why on earth are some people including hashtags in their posts? #stupid #thick #wasteoftime

    1. No Balls Like Snow Balls

      No Balls Like Snow Balls

      you must be one of the # criminals Nick L hehe

    2. Nick L

      Nick L

      I loathe hashtags.

    3. No Balls Like Snow Balls

      No Balls Like Snow Balls

      Twitter is only good for following the likes of Ian F in winter. Apart from that who wants to listen to pointless celebrites talking crap.

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  20. Travelling from Stratford on Avon to the German market in Birmingham. I suppose you could say I'm going from Bard to Wurst.

  21. The worry, the pain, the joy, the torment, the romances, the heartless comments and unexpected disappointments, the love-hate relationships - it can only be the MOD thread.

  22. RIP Comet Ison :-(

    1. Summer of 95

      Summer of 95

      Should be renamed Comet Brian Griffin?

    2. Beverley Lass

      Beverley Lass

      Oooo is there more positive news this morning .. *crosses everything

    3. No Balls Like Snow Balls
    4. Show next comments  9 more
  23. The next person who types "throws" rather than "throes" gets a custard pie in the face.

    1. Bishop Brennan

      Bishop Brennan

      Certain peeps keep on posting things like "last throws of autumn", very annoying!

    2. SomeLikeItHot

      SomeLikeItHot

      I presume you are going to throe the custard pie at them?

    3. Coast

      Coast

      What about froze?

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  24. I see we have a new addition to the Netweather lexicon...........the "vortexy vortex" lol

    1. Dancerwithwings

      Dancerwithwings

      Me a stalker..how dare you!

      Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk but only one of them knows about it.lol

    2. gottolovethisweather

      gottolovethisweather

      Does it have to be romantic?

    3. Bishop Brennan

      Bishop Brennan

      lol what a bunch of nutcases

    4. Show next comments  9 more
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