Peter Tattum's Blog

Whatever those 'circumstances' are, it sounds like you've got a good approach there.

Recently, my motto in these situations has been to keep an open mind- the ability to let go of something, but also to remain open to the possibility that it might come back again after a period of time spent apart... the first is hard enough, and the second seems to be even harder for most people.

However, I've found from my own experience that if you spend a lot of time thinking about 'waiting' for something, it can dominate your thoughts and make you apprehensive and stressed- so it may be best to try not to think about it too much and relax your approach. Worrying about, or becoming attached to/obsessed about a particular outcome usually achieves little: if you adopt a relaxed and open approach, if an opportunity arises it will still be there for the taking.

You can only do your best- if you do so, and you get rejected, it's the rejectors' loss more than yours! Personally, I find that a much more effective (and less destructive) way of avoiding being hurt than the traditional recipe of 'cutting off'.

I have a lot of experience of this 'arbitary morality' you referred to earlier- it drives me nuts as well- bear in mind that you're by no means alone!

Whatever those 'circumstances' are, it sounds like you've got a good approach there.

Recently, my motto in these situations has been to keep an open mind- the ability to let go of something, but also to remain open to the possibility that it might come back again after a period of time spent apart... the first is hard enough, and the second seems to be even harder for most people. 

However, I've found from my own experience that if you spend a lot of time thinking about 'waiting' for something, it can dominate your thoughts and make you apprehensive and stressed- so it may be best to try not to think about it too much and relax your approach.  Worrying about, or becoming attached to/obsessed about a particular outcome usually achieves little: if you adopt a relaxed and open approach, if an opportunity arises it will still be there for the taking.

You can only do your best- if you do so, and you get rejected, it's the rejectors' loss more than yours!  Personally, I find that a much more effective (and less destructive) way of avoiding being hurt than the traditional recipe of 'cutting off'.

I have a lot of experience of this 'arbitary morality' you referred to earlier- it drives me nuts as well- bear in mind that you're by no means alone!

Thank you Ian...for those comments. Theye are appreciated!!