Letting Mrs OON have a lie in this morning for perhaps the second time in her life, but I don't want any thanks. Although having to watch Razzle Dazzle isn't how I pictured my Saturday mornings when I was younger. I always thought I'd hop out of bad in my luxury city-centre loft conversion, put on some wacky-coloured Boden trousers, take my Halifax cash-point card to the machine in the recently converted dock area and take the resultant cash to a trendy coffee bar where they even sell "Kiddys' Cappucinos" before grabbing the paper off my friendly newspaper-sellar, rushing home and hopping back into bed with my gorgeous wife with a tray-full of breakfast before meeting up with Jamie Oliver later in the day for some barbecued salmon on the beach. Perhaps I shouldn't have moved toGreat Asby?Babbydoodledoos' eye is swollen like a boxer's post-fight. Why does she always get ill on a weekend? I shouldn't complain I suppose; it's good to know that even on a Saturday, the whole of North Cumbria has a couple of doctors to rely on....if you can get to Penrith.....and have a few hours to spare. Was there just three weeks ago when her temperature soared.....I still have the sick on my shoes to prove it. Anyway, if the swollen eye doesn't start going down soon, I'll lance it with a pin. I think Mrs OON is really tired because she had a late night refresher course on driving yesterday with her new gentleman friend. She dialled me from her mobile by mistake and whilst I didn't catch all the conversation, I did hear her say "couldn't you have waited until I'd put it in first". She passed her test 10 years ago, so why she needs help changing gear is beyond me.