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Cold Inside- Is Your Child Whiter Than White

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Flat Land Andy's Goffer


It is a beautiful day oustide and hubby and little man have gone for a bike ride to try to keep little man's fitness levels up ready for doing the 3 peaks in 24hrs, despite his injured foot. :unsure:

He has been ok with his foot, but has been reacting somewhat inappropriately to certain things at school. I say inappropriately, but to be honest I feel that he has just reacted as any frustrated, angry 10yr old would, but parents have felt the need to comment on it, without listening to his reasons, even calling him nasty, which I was somewhat affronted by. :angry:

If he was nasty why did he walk 290 miles for other people and why did he give up his easter egg that he won to try to make amends. Why for the last 2 weekends has he given up part of his pocket money to buy a book for one of the few people he believes is his friend(Before this particular incident happened so this was not trying to make up for something)! Why has he tried to help with other problems that children have had. I am fed up with the better than thou attitude. :nonono:

Yes he originally denied what he did which is wrong :nonono: and as this parent pointed out that is lying, but then little man admitted it me, said he was sorry for lying and tried to do something about it, but no he is NASTY according to them and this was an inappropriate reaction by a 10yr old I am not even sure that they had the all of the facts as why he had done it, but they were not willing to hear anything I had to say and haven't spoken to Littla Man directly so.............. :unsure:

What child doesn't deny things and then thinks Umm maybe I had better confess because I am bound to be found out. Don't get me wrong I know he should have admitted what he did and not lied and that is unforgivable but I wouldn't say it warrants the reaction from this parent that it received.

What little man did was a reaction to him paying for a game, him allowing certain people to have access to this game as guests, someone or more than one of his guests changing his part of the game, so that their game/character could benefit and then boasting about it! Then saying that there was nothing wrong with his foot and that he was putting it on..... they are doctors now are they!

I know he should have approached them all and told them that if they continued to change his profile he would delete them from his guest list and given them the opportunity to stop this, but he didn't, he overeacted to this and being told there was nothing wrong with his foot. He deleted all of his guests but left one open that they could all use.

In my opinion he is startaing to react to the constant bullying that he has received since he started school at the age of 5. He is reacting to being called, dumb, pathetic, stupid, thick, 4 eyes, useless, stupid g*t, weird, not normal, geek, swat, whimp and some things that I won't repeat because they are swear words and inappropriate. He is reacting to growing up, but in this instance reacted inappropriately.

I do not condone him lying, but in my opinion I can understand why he reacted how he did, not that I agree with it. :nonono: I have taken certain privledges away and his pocket money. What do you think? Do you think it is a normal reaction for a 10yr old, or was it so inappropriate that I am being the over protective mother? Please give me your honest opinion because right now I am so stressed with this, waiting for results from the hospital, not knowing whether the landlord is going to be selling the house we rent and feeling under the weather health wise that I am concerned I am being over protective and therefore using what I call "rose coloured glasses" which is something I would hate to do.

I feel that he has always been a round peg in a square hole and struggles to form relationships. In year 3 he had to be taken out of his English SATS test, because he got so upset and said that he couldn't do it and this is a child that in yr4 got level 4a's, but he had been taunted and taunted about not being as good as a couple of others and little man is a very deep child and believes it. We have even had a child here for a sleep over and they have stood on our stairs, said that no-one likes little man, that no-one is his friend and that he is thick, dumb and stupid!

Little man was talking about Heaven and Hell the other day, he had religious studies that day and he said "Your life is your heaven and your hell. You are sent here by god to help other people or to learn a lesson yourself" I really didn't know what to say to him. He's 10! How deep is that!

I am concerned that little man is going to continue to struggle with his social skills and this is despite me ensuring that he takes part in group activities and trying to help him with how to deal with certain situations.

I suppose the truth is I am concerned that people are pointing the finger and saying that I am a bad parent and as such Little man is turning into a bad person.

Please give me any honest opinions that you have or comments about experiences you have had with children and how you have dealt with this because I am trying to do what is best for Little Man.

Please help if you can

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No child is perfect, and your son sounds as if he is a very caring boy. I get the impression he's been through a lot and had to grow up quickly... so it could be that other children don't understand him. (Which isn't his (or your) fault.)

Stay positive... and tell him to think good thoughts about himself! :)

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