Jump to content
  • entries
  • comments
  • views

About this blog

The secret bog

Entries in this blog


The g sumner burglier.

Did I ever tell you about the time in the summer, just after Lady P was burgled, we got burgled. Yes, whilst enjoying my Net-weather asbo, on one of the hottest, if not the hottest day in July? I left the kitchen window wide open, and it's about 1 foot deep. During the hotist day, when it reached about 36C outside and a disgusting 30C indoors, I changed the aquarium water 3 times that day (not completely) trying to keep it cooler (they are normally about 24C, the fish and shrimp). Anyway, that night mrs better had gone out with friends and I stayed up till about 1am on my todd the recluse I am. She came to bed about 2am, and at 3am she woke me saying "Did you here that?!" "Ugh" (Well I heard it too, but I was dreaming and still pi**ed). Maybe it's a cat I said (Hoping it was a cat - and not something worse...well there was a rat once). Suddenly there came the sound of somebody walking up the wooden stairs! Unmistakeable. Either a giant two legged cat, or (oh god) a burgliar! They must have heard us and decended back down. We both were sat up in bed, in the dark listening - for 2 mins? - waiting for a positive loud burgliar sound. Suddenly there was quite loud noises downstairs... That's not a cat! I leapt out of bed, (naked because I'm too young to wear pyjamas) and grabbed a pool que(!?). Just like in that film, a pool que wasn't good enough and I grabbed a standard lamp, without the lamp bit, so it was a pole. I went down stairs expecting to get jumped, brandishing this pole, pulsing with adrenaline, expecting to get jumped - (knives are in the kitchen downstairs and small kindling axe...) So, in the kitchen and I'm really hyped up - but there's nobody there! The fridge door was wide open though... and all the lights on. Still a bit dazed I was. "How did a cat open the fridge door??", I asked, stupourdily. Mrs better had to put me straight. Tick, tock, tick, tock - yikes! Then I thought the burgliar was behind the bathroom door. I pushed it and it wouldn't yield, all the way. "He's behind the f****ng door", I whispered (possibly). There was a reason why the bathroom door wasn't opening fully - that's because he was behind the bathroom door, right? So, I rammed this standard light shaft into the door at about 80% strength - this went through the front of the door and only slightly penetrated the other side. (I'm not a complete psycho O.K, else I would have added the other 20%). Of course, the skanky slim junky burgliar was long gone, out the window having taken the house keys and a digital camera that might be worth a fiver. The force behind the door, giving me the impression that there was someone behind there was infact a little wicker basket...(full of NS mags and other suchlike good toilet reading material). So, the moral of this story is - if you think there's a burgliar hiding in your house, and you go for the kill (80% of it) - you may find they're long gone, and you're just left with a door in your house with several big holes in it. And it's not even your house! Peace. (and you have to change all the locks of course). Excuse my English spelling - see you in the next world, with windy thing.

On the road.

Right, this isn't working. I'm off back to Wales - I miss the elements, space, wind turbines, solar panels, hearing the wind rushing through the trees before it arrives, the sudden brightening of 12V dc lights, trying to get rid of unwanted energy in a wind, trying to conserve it in a lull, I could go on and on. Besides, 12 - 240v inverters have come down in price a hell of a lot. Oh, and I can't afford to stand up here.


We used to love each other so much I suppose, though how would I know. Cold, lettuce storage how can you say that woops now look what's happened.

Maths Problem

I've just started to make some progress on a painting I've been meaning to do for ages. The painting is something like a mobile (the sort that hangs off a ceiling, and flaps about a bit in a breeze), with circles hanging from threads, like this dodgy sketch. The circles are to be thought of as 3d spheres and the idea is whether or not the eye can see if they balance out correctly (or not). I suspect not if it's subtle enough, but nevermind, who cares. Already I've reached the first stumbling block - how to rearrange the formula for volume of a sphere to get the radius. ie, I want to specify a volume and find r. I've been looking around the internet for a simple fix but can't find anything. V= 4/3.pi.r3 I know I should have really paid more attention in school and it's my own stupid fault, but if anyone can help, I'd be well pleased! I'd also like to name the painting in a mathy way, describing the branches and spheres and their whereabouts, so that it could be reproduced from the name, if possible. I hope you can understand what I'm blithering on about Please help!